Fears To Overcome In Your Relationship Using The North Node

No one is perfect and unfortunately, when you enter a relationship it often seems like your flaws just magnify because there is always someone else mirroring your behavior back to you. This is because we all have fears when we enter a relationship, luckily, with Astrology, you can learn to be more conscious of your misgivings and work on them to be a better romantic partner. So if you’re looking to figure out what your biggest fears are and what to do about them to help you stop blocking intimacy in your relationships then continue reading:

Aries North Node 

You might feel that you are responsible to keep your partner happy in your relationship, but it is not only up to you to create harmony between the two of you. Remember in a relationship there are two people co-creating their experience together. You might think if you are always nice and make everyone else happy then you will feel like you can earn the love you desire. Unfortunately, at the end of the day, you can only make yourself happy and it is unfair for you to be responsible for your partner’s happiness.

You might think that if you put your partner’s happiness ahead of your own that they will reciprocate this, but this tends to never be the case. You need to work on your independence and self-identity outside of the relationship and not care so much about what others think.  

Taurus North Node 

You place a great deal of emphasis on your relationships and feel that when you are in a couple that you have a greater sense of security in the world. One of your biggest fears in your relationship is being on your own because it makes you feel insecure and unstable. You feel that you need to be in a union to survive. This is why you tend to pour all your energy into supporting your partner so that you become indispensable to them, even if that means crossing your own boundaries and giving more than what you are actually capable of.

You might put up a front that you don’t need anything or anyone because you don’t want to seem weak, but often you feel totally misused and underappreciated. And you need to learn to maintain healthy boundaries and stop giving so much of yourself. You need to reconnect to your self-worth and see beyond what you mean outside of a romantic relationship.  

Gemini North Node 

You are a big ideas person and often feel alienated because you feel like others don’t quite understand you or where you are coming from. But this just emphasizes that your biggest fear is being misunderstood and that you constantly need to prove your thoughts and ideas to your partners. In actuality, you are quite fearful of emotional intimacy and find the realm of intellect a lot safer to relate to others with. This is why you tend to have such a strong independent streak within you.

You might think that maintaining your freedom and mystery makes you a more attractive partner, but this just proves that you have your defenses up and are afraid of letting people meet the core of who you are. You need to let go and allow people in, give them the opportunity to get to know you and even to teach you something because you definitely know a lot less than what you might think.  

Cancer North Node 

When it comes to relationships your biggest fear is losing control of yourself and this is why you tend to keep quite a big grip on the person you are in love with. You don’t entirely trust people and fear that they always have an ulterior motive, especially when they try to get closer to you. This means that you always have your guard up because you know that your partner is bound to mess up and let you down so it is just easier keeping them at a safe distance than truly letting them in.

You see vulnerability as a weakness and refuse to depend on anyone else to help take care of you. Your biggest fear in your relationship is that your true feelings will be invalidated. You need to learn to let go of these controlling behaviors and just let things flow and let people be. Reconnect with your feelings and be more open to being vulnerable.  

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Leo North Node 

You love the idea of a relationship but one of your biggest fears is thinking that other people are more special than you are. This is why you go out of your way to act in a certain manner to gain the approval of others. You feel like you need to please others to be lovable. Instead of standing out from the crowd, you might choose to dim your light to make yourself more acceptable. You give and you give, but you never feel like you get the same treatment in return. There is a side to you that can be quite calculating because you tend to follow your head instead of your heart when it comes to love and then end up in the wrong kind of partnership and feel totally unsatisfied in the union.

You need to learn to listen to your heart, even if it goes against what everyone else thinks. Remember that you don’t need to fit in to be loved and that you can create the relationship you desire if you just listen to your own heart.  

Virgo North Node 

In your relationships you tend to put the other person first, you want to please them and always be available to their needs. You fear what might happen if you put up boundaries and say no to them. There is a part of you that thinks if you let your guard down with the person you love, that somehow this vulnerability will cause you to get hurt. This is because somewhere you have learned that if you care about someone that it means you need to sacrifice a part of yourself for them in order to be loved. You just want everything to be perfect in your relationship and this makes you quite sensitive to negative feedback.

You feel like a failure when something goes wrong in your relationship and that it is all your fault. It is important that you learn your own limits and understand that not everything is your responsibility, you don’t have to be so hard on yourself, and that constructive criticism doesn’t have to be so destructive to you personally. 

Libra North Node 

You are a fiercely independent lover. Your autonomy is everything to you, but this stems from a fear that you are actually afraid of truly getting close to someone. True intimacy is terrifying to you. You tend to place a great deal of emphasis on your physical appearance and believe that if you “look perfect” you will find your dream partner. You also feel that you can only truly depend on yourself, so what exactly is the point in finding a partner?

And you are hyper-aware of yourself and fiercely follow what you want to do, this can alienate you from actually meeting someone and making a valuable connection because you make it seem that you are perfectly happy on your own, but the truth is you are just scared. You need to learn to stop self-sabotaging, stop being so self-focused, and open yourself up to truly getting to know others.  

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Scorpio North Node 

There is a side to you that is incredibly controlling and even possessive in your relationships. You are so fearful that your partner will act in a way that you don’t expect that you try and take their autonomy away from them. The truth is, you are afraid of true intimacy and really getting to know someone. This is why you feel safe in being the one that controls all of the outcomes. You might think that if you truly allow yourself to trust someone then somehow they will betray you or abandon you.

Nothing terrifies you more than loving someone and having them hurt you in some way. This is why you create such an ideal image of the perfect partner because it is easier to say someone doesn’t meet your standards than to actually allow someone into your heart. You need to learn to accept that others have their own will and there is nothing you can do about it. Stop being so stubborn and let others see the true you. This is when love can actually enter.  

Sagittarius North Node 

You seem to be under a misconception that if you just keep things light and happy that your partner will always be happy and stay by your side. You are scared of being left, so you cultivate a personality that isn’t true to yourself. And you might think that your optimism makes you more attractive and likable. You fear not hearing from your partner because you equate constant communication with love. If you don’t hear from your partner you start getting anxious and think that they are no longer interested in you. But the truth is, sometimes people just need space to be on their own with their own thoughts, and this includes you.

It is important that you let go of “toxic positivity” and realize that there is nothing wrong with feeling negative emotions, in fact, it can help you get closer to someone to experience true intimacy. What you need to do is find a way to get out of your head and to stop overanalysing things so much and instead listen to your intuition and cultivate a strong spiritual practice and awareness. This will help you a lot to feel more centered and balanced in your relationships. 

Capricorn North Node 

Security is so important for you in your relationships. You fear not having stability so much that you end up not trusting people and block yourself from getting to know someone on a deeper level. This means that you never take risks and always play it safe, but when it comes to love you kind of have to put your heart on the line to make it worth it. This is why you enjoy it when others need you and depend on you because it makes you feel worthy and that if you do enough for them that they will never abandon you.

Unfortunately, all of these actions just block you from allowing others to see the real you. You can overcome all of these fears by allowing yourself to be more adventurous and spontaneous; go with the flow now and again. You don’t always have to be in control and it is unnecessary for others to always depend on you. But the biggest thing you need to learn is that others aren’t responsible for your emotions, only you are.  

Aquarius North Node 

One of your biggest fears in your relationship of not being good enough, so you find it easy to blame others for any misgivings or heartbreak you might be feeling. You think that your partner needs to notice how special you are, and when they don’t, it makes you feel quite empty and unloved. And you have a particular way that you want to be loved, and when someone doesn’t meet these standards you have set, you tend to push them away.

You may come to realize that you can’t really depend on people like that, and that you can only rely on yourself to make things happen. Unfortunately, no one is an island, and we need others to support us. You need to learn that everyone is special in their own way and that someone doesn’t have to be totally “out there” to be worthy of your love. Be open to seeing the big picture and allow yourself to be surprised by others.  

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Pisces North Node 

You are quite regimented and serious when it comes to your relationships. You like things to go according to your own plan and this makes you highly controlling. Of course, this stems from a fear of not being good enough. You believe that there is a right way of doing things and that if your partner doesn’t act the way they want you to, then they might be unworthy of your love. This is because you believe that if you don’t control your surroundings that something bad is going to happen to your relationship.

This really blocks you from getting close to someone and allowing yourself to be loved truly. You need to learn to recognise that many of the behaviours you partake in are actually quite self-sabotaging. Your lesson is to learn that there are different ways in responding to what happens to you and that sometimes it is totally okay and necessary to lose control. It doesn’t make you less lovable. Learn to be in the flow. 

So what is your biggest fear in your relationship? Ready to overcome your biggest fear in your relationship using the North Node?